“Relationship with Self”
By: Vince DiPasquale
Welcome to the very special month of May. It’s a time to renew our relationships with nature and with each other. This is the month when many of us experience spring fever. It’s a time to shake off the cobwebs, get outside, and watch the flowers grow. It’s also a time when we experience the way we look at relationships.
A few years ago I wrote my first book entitled, “Relationships, The Gifts of Life”. In the book I emphasize our need to look at all relationships through the eyes of ourselves. Each and every relationship that comes into my life is my teacher. We all have many relationships on a daily basis. For example, your job, God, neighbors, school, and even your personal relationships that you have with people you share your life with. Each one of these helps you in your personal growth.
The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Let me take some time to share with you today what it means to be a healthy person. To do this I would like to use an analogy that we can relate to as I describe a healthy person. Visualize what happens when you drop a stone into a pool of water. It forms ringlets from the stone. The first is small and strong, then as the circles go out they get wider and weaker.
The stone represents each one of us. If we are healthy we have a flowing quality. Energy oozes out of us. We have an open mind. We are able to go with the flow of life. We have a sense of humor and know how to laugh at life. Above all we have the spirit of gratitude and are not afraid to share our talents and gifts with others. We celebrate life with a positive attitude.
In the second circle, which is a little wider, a healthy person has very special people in their life. These are people with whom they can share with on a deeper level. With these people you can be totally open because you feel safe with them.
The third circle is wider and a little weaker. You have a circle of people called friends and if you are healthy you have different circles of friends. Each group is unique based on the situation. As you change, you circle of friends also changes. People come into our lives for a period of time to be our teachers. When their job is done they may move on. Remember, if you are open to growth you will develop different circles of friends in your life. With them we learn the art of developing our socialization skills.
In the fourth circle we have ‘time’ people. These are the messengers who speak to us at different times. We call them time people because they simply carry a message to us. We pray that we are open to listen to them. Each person I meet is a time person. Even those who are negative come into my life so that I can learn what being negativity is all about.
In the fifth circle we have people called acquaintances. We have plenty of them. People we say hello to each day but we don’t really know them nor do they know us. With these people we make small talk. We learn the importance of setting boundaries. We all have to be careful of disclosing things that are sensitive to us. We only share the inner most part of ourselves with very special people. Always remember the main principle of boundary setting. “Make sure that in dealing with people we don’t injure ourselves or others”.
The sixth circle is reserved for people who are unhealthy for us. We are all smart enough to know the persons, places, and things that are unhealthy. We have a personal obligation to detach from them, tempered by love. We are taught that the best way to handle people who are unhealthy is to 1) pray for them, 2) wish them well, 3) detach with love and set healthy boundaries.
These are the basics of a healthy person. Take time to look at your own personal life. Each one of us has the obligation to strive to be as healthy as possible. Remember the qualities of a healthy person are 1) positive attitude, 2) good energy, 3) open mind, 4) honesty, 5) humility, 6) sense of humor, 7) spirit of gratitude and sharing. Let’s all try to embrace these qualities as we celebrate the birth of spring.
Enjoy May flowers and always celebrate the gift of life!!!