If lately you’ve felt your mood shifting, your patience wearing thin, or your sleep patterns turning unpredictable, you’re not alone. You’re certainly not imagining things.
For so many women, especially those of us navigating midlife, it can feel like we’re suddenly “not ourselves.” Maybe you’re more emotional, more overwhelmed, more forgetful, or just plain on edge, even when, on the surface, life seems steady. It’s confusing, and it can be isolating.
This is why perimenopause deserves a softer, more understanding conversation.
What is perimenopause, really?
Perimenopause is simply the transition before menopause. While menopause is marked by a year without a period, perimenopause can start years earlier. It’s a season of shifting hormones, with estrogen and progesterone rising and falling in unpredictable ways. These hormones do so much more than regulate cycles. They shape our brain chemistry, our sleep, and the way our nervous system responds to the world.
So, if you’re noticing changes in your thoughts, moods, or energy, it’s not “all in your head.” It’s your body moving through a major transformation.
What does perimenopause feel like in real life?
You might notice:
- Anxiety or sudden panic that seems to come out of nowhere
- Mood swings or irritability
- Trouble sleeping, or waking up at 3 a.m. and lying awake for hours
- Brain fog, forgetfulness, or feeling easily overstimulated
- Difficulty focusing or finishing tasks
You might even catch yourself thinking,
- “My brain just doesn’t work the way it used to.”
- If that’s you, please know, you’re not alone. And you’re not failing. These shifts can be especially tough for Black women who’ve always had to be “the strong one,” always sharp, always on, always holding it together for everyone else. But your softness, your rest, and your healing matter, too.
Why does it feel like anxiety?
Here’s the truth. Many perimenopause symptoms overlap with anxiety or depression. Too often, women, especially Black women, are told,
- “It’s just stress.”
- “You’re probably anxious.”
- “Everything looks normal.”
But perimenopause can make your body more sensitive to stress and less able to bounce back in the ways you’re used to. This isn’t about weakness. It’s about your body adapting to a new season.
You’re not broken. You’re evolving.
Perimenopause isn’t just “getting older.” It’s a whole-body transition, including your mind and spirit. You don’t have to push through or pretend you’re fine. You deserve understanding, support, and rest, without guilt, without pressure, and without rushing your process. You deserve answers. You deserve to feel steady and cared for.
Coming up next: In Part 2, we’ll talk about one of the most common midlife symptoms I hear about: waking up at 3 a.m., feeling wired, anxious, and unable to fall back asleep.
Gentle reminder: This article is for educational purposes only and isn’t a substitute for medical or mental health care. Please reach out to a trusted provider for support that’s tailored to you.
About the Author
Dr. Tye Johnson-Mason, DNP, PMHNP-BC is a board-certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner with JMS Behavioral Health, providing outpatient psychiatric care in New Jersey. She is passionate about helping women in midlife feel informed, supported, and empowered through perimenopause and menopause transitions.
