By: Vince DiPasquale
The Many Faces of Life
When October arrives, the trees begin to reveal their many faces. Mother Nature reminds us that, throughout life’s journey, we will also experience many changes. Each one can lead us through struggle and growth. October also brings Halloween. Originally, Halloween had a sacred meaning, with people dressing as the patron saints for whom they were named and looking to those saints as examples. Today, costumes and changing faces still remind us of life’s many stages. Let us reflect on some of the faces that have touched our lives, as I look back on the different faces of my own life’s experiences.
The child. As a little boy growing up in the forties, my view of life was very different. I was born during World War II, a time of uncertainty and fear, and lived in the city of Camden. Camden had a different face then. The streets were safe, and the neighborhoods were clearly divided. There was no air conditioning or television, so everyone listened to the radio. Even baseball was played in the daytime, and some games were called because of darkness. Religion was often shaped by fear and guilt, yet there was also a strong sense of community and caring.
The teenager. My teen years brought me to a new community: the seminary. For three years, I faced fear, confusion, and the challenge of adjusting to a new face of life. Then came another change, as I spent the next three years in Blackwood at the seminary that is now Camden County College. Life kept requiring me to adjust to new people and new experiences. I discovered the world of stage and drama, and I began to grow up within a controlled environment.
The 20s. As I entered my 20s, my journey took me to a new school: Mount St. Mary’s Seminary in Maryland. There I finished college and completed my graduate seminary training, which led to my ordination in 1966. Once again, these were years of change, confusion, adjustment, and growth. I thought I had figured everything out, and for many years my ego told me it was my job to save the world. The final years of my 20s were filled with fear, guilt, and turmoil. My journey into codependency and the world of addiction began. I was introduced to the 12 Steps and Al-Anon, but I still did not understand why people kept telling me to work on myself, when my ego insisted I did not need to.
The 30s. Then came my 30s, years marked by confusion and turmoil. Today I understand that this was the dark night of my journey. My life was out of control. I was running from life, playing the savior and martyr while sinking into a deep emptiness. From 1969 to 1976, I was like a runaway train. My workaholic instincts and addictions were fully alive. During those years, I taught high school, ran a parish, became involved in the civil rights movement, served as a prison chaplain, and ran a halfway house drug program. I never took time for vacation; I was too busy to go to the beach or boardwalk. In 1977, I founded The Starting Point in Philadelphia. Still, I was running from life and avoiding decisions. I played the game of avoidance and isolation and rebelled against almost everything. I was struggling with codependency and control, while inside I felt empty, lonely, and scared.
The 40s. My 40s became a time of awakening. I began to face many fears and moved into a new era of life. God was very patient with me and sent special people to help lead me slowly out of emptiness and into the light. God also gave me a new family: a wife and three beautiful stepdaughters, who helped me see life from a new direction. I finally began the journey of growing up. Many spiritual teachers guided me and taught me to do my own work, one day at a time, while discovering who I truly was. That journey continues today. God has blessed me in many ways and has sent many people to touch my life. He has also given me the opportunity to be part of many communities, each with its own face, all of which have helped me on my spiritual journey.
Today. I now have nine beautiful faces in my life: my grandchildren & great grandchildren. In a special way, they have helped me reconnect with the child within. God has blessed me with many gifts and with the opportunity to share them.
As we reflect on the changing faces of life, let us be grateful for all we have been given. Remember the old and beautiful saying: “Be grateful for what was, be open to what is, and be grateful for whatever will be.” Look around at the wonderful faces of all God’s children. We are all connected in the circle of life. May we all be blessed on our journey.
